Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Why is That?

Being a man of mixed race, I am often looked upon as a question of… why is that?  Lots of people want to say I am playing the race card or saying this is about racial relations between groups of people.  I believe talking about racism and the effects of it is the best way to rid most of racism, not all, but most.

Dating has always been a hard thing for me.  Being light-skinned, most women of European descent believe I am too dark to be with them and most women of African descent say I am too light to be with them.  Introducing me to a European family is virtually impossible because most are raise with believe people of African descent are bad influences and cause havoc in society.  However, if you look at music and influences on music who are usually the most influential people of music?  Even the Rolling Stones picked the name of their group from a lyric in a Muddy Waters song.  When American artists of African descent go to other countries, they are greeted and welcomed with open arms; more so than the country in which they were born in.  Introducing me to an African descent family is easy because society looks upon me as being of African descent not being of mixed race.  Society do not expect a non European descent man to date anyone that is of European descent.  Society feels like it’s race mixing should never be done.  Society believes women that are of European descent are much too good for men of African descent or of mixed race.  Usually, women of European descent will only date outside their race as a last resort, when their own race don’t want them due to their body shape, being considered as trailer park trash, or having a child of mix race and their own race would be embarrassed to be seen with them.

I remember two very different instances where I often was asked the question of why is that?  Instance one was a time where I dated a woman of African descent who has three different children by three different men.  One man was in jail at the time.  Another man lived in a different state.  The third man was in the child’s life.  I was fortunate because I only had to deal with one guy while dating this woman.  Imagine if I had to deal with all three of the men.  She tried to change the way I talked to be more “hood” (relating to or of urban ghetto).  She tried to get me to change my musical tastes to more hip hop and rap, especially groups that I would not enjoy listening too.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy hip hop, but the older groups such as Run DMC, Eric B & Rakim, and other groups who have a message behind their music.  She tried to get me to dress more street as in sagging pants with my underwear showing.  This woman believed what she thought I should be in society is a man of a typical mixed race man, or what society would still refer to as a man of African descent.  Not changing the way I talk, musical tastes, or the way I dress caused her to believe I was trying to act more “white” (caucasian, European).  I felt I could not be myself and I asked myself… why is that?  Do I have to sacrifice myself to be liked by women of African descent?  Society believes I am crazy for giving up on this woman because in their eyes I’m of African descent just like her and it would have been a great relationship.

Instance two was a time where I dated a woman of European descent who has four children as well.  However, she was married before and had two children by that one person and two by a previous relationship.   The ex-boyfriend is not in the picture, yet she receives child support for the two kids.  The ex-husband is in the lives of the other two children, who is a racist towards people of African descent.  It really burns him up that his ex-wife would like me the way she did.  She did not try to change the way I talk because she was fine with it.  She did not try to change the way I dressed because dress decently.  Her musical tastes are Country and some R&B and never once tried to change my musical tastes.  Her kids loved me to death and wanted to go everywhere where I went.  One even wanted me to go to a father/daughter dance at her school in which I did participate.  I could really be myself, but something was still missing.  This woman is not really my type, yet she liked me.  What is that?  Her kids are of European descent, yet she could not find an European guy to date.  She is a plus sized woman, and not anyone where own race would consider attractive due to her weight.  Later, I found out I was a last resort for her because no one in her own race wanted her.  People of European descent would laugh when they saw us together because I was her last resort and no one else wanted her.  People of African descent would turn their nose up at us because we were a mixed race couple and I was with someone that is considered very obese.

Why is that?  Why are the obese European women attracted to African men?  Why are African women that are about something want a guy to make as much money as them?  Why are the European women go out with African men as their LAST resort?  Why are do most African women have a lot of children by a lot of different men?  Why are European women want to “hide” you away so no one can see that you are really their man?  Why do African women turn their nose when they believe you sold out?  Why are we the most judgmental country in all of the world, judging others on race and what they believe you should act due to race?  Why do people refuse to recognize most music derive from African artists?  Why do European people get tanned yet cannot stand the sight of an African person?  Why are men of African descent and men who are of mixed race who have morals are still looked upon as a menace to society?  Why do we have the first bombing ever on American soil in the ’20s in Tulsa, Oklahoma?  Why don’t European women date African men?  Why don’t African women date European men?  Why do we only get the scraps that others don’t want?  Why is that?

~CF Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences, No Justice No Peace, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

What I Think May Help…

I believe what may help a bit more in American history would be more interracial couples cast for parts.  I see a lot of shows cast for parts of white couples being with white couples and black couples being with black couples.  Why do I believe this may be a slight issue?  We are the most prejudice country in all of the planet earth.  We are not born into racism.  We don’t come out of the womb calling others outside their names or say I am black so I will have to be with the black kids.  Our introductory to racism starts with our parents and then our surroundings, then our experiences.

Education is the key.  Everyone is different but if people want to put everyone into one category, we will not survive as a people.  I remember watching Glory, Tuskegee Airmen, and other movies based upon true documentary resources.  One thing that moved me was the comment in Tuskegee Airmen when General Benjamin O. Davis said “Are we Americans when the mood suites you?”  Wars cannot be won without the help of everyone pitching in, both black and white, yet we beat upon each other’s character so badly.  If a black guy walks into a bar, he is looked upon as he don’t belong there.  If a white guy walks into a bar, he is believe to be safe and sane.  It is a shame that most black or mixed people have to work three times harder just to gain respect versus a white person that has respect off the bat.

Now, it is coming in the realm of animals.  White dogs are adopted before black dogs.  Really?  So an animal that lives off of instinct and do what nature grooms inside of the animal is judged on their coat (fur color).  Really?

This country needs an enema…

~CF Boston Brian~

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General Need-to-Know Information, Life Experiences, No Justice No Peace

Don’t Be Upset…

We heard lots of stories from others regarding race this, and race that.  We heard lots of people saying that darker skinned people are using the “race” card when things happen.  We heard how others rally behind police officers when they are shot or killed, yet nothing is mentioned about the lives lost by police.  I am not against the police that honestly serve the communities and connect with people in communities.  I am not against the police that have to honestly defend their life in a situation that is life and death.  What I am against are the innocent killings and the lies other people give to make the police believe they have to destroy a family’s life.

I saw a YouTube video of a SWAT officer that shot and killed  a seven year old girl with a bullet directly into and through her head.  On this YouTube video, the SWAT officer did not answer why he did it or what was his intentions as he broke down the door in this home… a home raided to where only a grandmother and her seven year old granddaughter was occupying.  The gentleman that was doing this video provided information that was released by the American Psychological Association in regards to how police see dark skinned people.  After some research, I had found an article that tells how police view dark skinned people and how lighter skinned women view dark skinned people.  This came out in March of 2014 and here we sit in 2016 with the same issues going on.  I believe you should read the article for yourselves.  It is a good source of information.  Please share.

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/03/black-boys-older.aspx

~CF Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences

I’m Accused (Laughing out Loud)!

Throughout my travels in life, I had it rather easy.  I have a loving mother and a supportive dad when going to my bowling practices, and even in my interest in chess during my high school years.  Being a high school chess champion in my Junior and Senior years was a very big milestone for me.  I was often called a nerd, although my grades did not reflect it entirely.  Of course, my decisions had led to a lot of hardships and learning experiences.  Some decisions I do regret and others I don’t.  My friends are very eclectic, just like I am.  My mother always told me “define yourself.”  I often tend to hide a lot of emotions.  I always believe I have to be strong in the eyes of adversity.

So one day, I started telling others “I am Awesome” and “I am the best there was, the best there is, and the best there will ever be at what I do.”  Often I get accused of being big-headed or I get little smirks.  I am a strong believer that most people will not give you encouragement.  Encouragement comes from the Word of God, parents, and other family members.  However, there is always something inside of us that wants to be accepted.  I realized that Most people are not worried about your well-being.  To some, you just exist.  It is a mindset.  If I don’t think I am Awesome or the best, who will?  It’s like that saying… you are what you think.  Eventually, my mind will be programmed and it will come as second nature.  I look at it as confidence.

A lot of things has been happening to me over the course of a two weeks.  I will not comment on it extensively, but I will share this.  On my break one day, I was in my car.  I asked the Lord God, why?  Why does this keeps happening to me?  Why, why, why?  Just as I finished that last why, I heard a sweet, soft, innocent voice.  This voice I knew was the Lord God speaking to me.  I heard it as plain as if I was talking to someone personally.  This voice, the Lord God, said “you have to be stronger.”  I did not like that answer, but I was blessed to even get an answer from the most High.

Now I will admit, I am getting a bit carried away as I am now calling myself Phenomenally Awesome.  I don’t know if there is such a term, but it sounds good (laughing out loud).

CF Boston Brian

The Phenomenally Awesome Eclectic One (smiling)

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Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Why We Cry?

There are many reasons why we cry. We cannot understand why, but we do. However, one of the better reasons why we cry, in my opinion, will be listed in this writing.

Of course, not in any particular order. We cry due to:

  • our emotional pain.
  • our physical pain.
  • a movie.
  • our loved ones who have passed on from this life.
  • those we may love and who do not love us back.
  • the passing of our pet animal(s).
  • situations that happens all over the world regarding terrorist attack.
  • others telling lies.
  • historical events that have changed American culture; good or bad.
  • those that have died while protecting their family.
  • our heroes that have passed on in real life.
  • being Baptized.
  • us being Baptized.
  • the movement of the Lord God in our lives and in our bodies.
  • prayer and our prayers being answered.
  • happiness.
  • suicidal thoughts.
  • being bullied.
  • prophecy.
  • anger.
  • many more reasons that could be personal and not so personal.

One reason why we cry is not better than any other. However, in my opinion, one of the better reasons to cry is to cry for those that may not cry for themselves.

“Why do you cry?” “He is Conan, Cimmerian, he won’t cry; so I cry for him.”
-Conan the Barbarian

~CF Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Happy Holidays

I just wanted to take this moment to wish everyone Happy Holidays and a very safe journey over the New Year.

Let’s do something different!  How about doing a New Year’s resolution and keeping it this time.  After all, it will make things easier in the future to keep our word more.

My New Year’s resolution… to pray nightly before bed and to listen more, which is one of my biggest flaws.  One day at a time.

I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.  ~ABRAHAM LINCOLN~

What I get from this quote… We cannot stop inevitability, but we must still push forward regardless.

~Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences

Turn Signals

What the hell man… I almost gotten into a crash because of some idiot that did not use her turn signal.  It was bad enough she turned in front of me without her turn signal, just to travel about 30 feet and hit her brakes to turn into a McDonald’s parking lot; leaving me milli-seconds to really respond.  Me, doing around 40 in a 30 mph zone and her braking fast in a minivan, it would not be a pretty picture.

Why do people refuse to use their turn signals?  Why are they so hung up on not using them?  It is the same thing about the right-of-way.  We were taught all these things in driver’s education.  Is it so hard to remember?  People can remember what happened to them 30 years ago, as I can remember what happened to me when I was 17 years old; yet I still remember to use my turn signals, so they cannot be a good excuse for others.

Turn signals, right-of-way, lane usage, text while driving….these are things that are against the law, yet people get away with it everyday.  How can anyone expect something good if they continue to break laws.  As elders have told me…”How can you keep God’s laws if you cannot even keep man’s law – which most are based on God’s law.”

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