Have you ever thought you would be single for the rest of your life, and why? This is my story. I am middle-aged and I don’t have children. The reasons for me not having children are rather personal to me as I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock. I don’t judge others because I don’t want others to judge me. What other people do, they do. What I do, I do.
I have joined a lot of sites regarding dating. These sites range from free sites to paying sites with a guarantee of finding your match or mate. Like most people, I have criteria. Some settle for things they choose to accept or think they have to in order to fall in love. Others really settle for things they know they don’t want, yet they don’t want to be alone either. Some things that I refuse to settle for are:
- People who brag or boast about themselves ALL the time. This leads me to believe they are selfish.
- Women who use a LOT of profanity. Don’t get me wrong, we all do it. Even I use profanity at times when I am highly upset and angry. We are human, but in everyday conversations and all that comes out of a woman’s mouth is profane language, that is an instant turn-off.
- An obese woman. Our bodies change over time and we tend to gain a bit of extra weight. I understand that. However, I refuse to date any woman that weights more than I do or who is considered obese.
- A woman with a lot of children. I have had issues with a lot of men who are the babies’ daddy. Some women have kids by three or more men. Some women tend to have children at a very young age because they believed the lifestyle of what a man had promised them.
- A woman without access to a vehicle. I just got out of a relationship similar to this. I live in one area and she lives in a completely different area. The only way we got to see each other is if I drove to her location, which is almost two hours away. I don’t mind taking the train, but that limits a lot of things to walking. That is good on comfortable days, but not when it is raining or snowing.
- Ghetto fabulous women. Ghetto fabulous is a mindset where you are not working and looking for a handout in many ways. These are the type of women who do not pronounce or talk properly when the mood calls for it. A perfect example would be “ain’t no way,” “you is,” or “is you.” That is poor grammar and how would it look taking a ghetto fabulous woman on a company-hosted function with her saying those words? Sure, I use slang, but I understand when to use it and when not to use it.
I write a lot of women regarding their profiles, getting to know them, and looking for genuine conversations. Unfortunately, I don’t get any response from them. I do get messages from women who are not even close to my type. They are those listed above. I am far from a racist person. After all, I am of mixed race. There are a lot of women of European descent who are very obese that want to talk to me and beg me to meet them. There are a lot of women of African descent with a village of kids that wants to meet me and beg me to talk to them. There are a lot of women of all races who want me to talk to them or meet them because they have a bi-racial child. There are a lot of women who believe I should be honored to be seen with them when others don’t even want them. It gives me the impression that I am their LAST chance or resort. I don’t believe in sex before marriage, but I am human so it may or may not happen. I don’t believe in living together or shacking unless you are in the mist of getting married to each other. Lots of people judge me on these things.
I believe these are the reasons why I am still single. Do I have to bend for what I believe in just to get a girlfriend? Do I really have to settle for things that I know I am not attracted to in order to get a girlfriend? Everyone that I am attracted to are not attracted to me and vice versa; but I feel I should not have to settle for someone who I know I will have issues with later on in life just for the sake of being with someone.
With all of this said, I would love to hear from you and your comments on this post.
~CF Boston Brian~
When we think of a terrorist, what are we conveying in our minds? First, let’s figure out the definition of a terrorist or terrorism. Terrorism is a noun that has three meanings, depending on how the word is used in a sentence. The first meaning is the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes. The second meaning is the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism. The third meaning is a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government. With all of this said, one group of people can cause fear into another group of people and it would be considered as terrorism. Would Klu Klux Klan be considered as a terrorist organization? Would the Black Panthers be considered as a terrorist organization? Would Communism be considered as a terrorist organization?
The United States of America has a long and said history of terrorizing its own citizens. I would expect that from other countries as a result of change of power or civil wars within their own country due to religious beliefs. The United States of America is supposed to be a land of the free. This means we are free to do whatever we desire and be whoever we desire to be within the law of the land. After all, this is one of the lyrics in the United States National Anthem. The Star-Spangled Banner was written by Francis Scott Key, September 14, 1814 while watching the British attack Fort McHenry, Maryland. Now here is a man, an immigrant from another country, who wrote an anthem to signify freedom in the “new world,” called the United States of America. Why would I call Mr. Key an immigrant although he was born in the United States? Even though he was born in the United States, his ancestry is not from another country or combination of countries. The Natives from northeast Asia were the first in North and South America who migrated via Siberia from a bridge that lead into Alaska.
Since we understand the terminology of what a terrorist is, we can get into a terrorist bombing forgotten. As I searched the internet to find information on all terrorist bombings in the Unites States of America, only one source revealed the information that I am going to present. I was surprised not to find this information on foxnews.com. Foxnews.com has a page dedicated to “History of bombings in the US, including famous attempts that failed since the late 1800’s,” and this story is not on included on this specific page of their site. When someone thinks of the first bombing ever on American soil, what comes to mind? Some may say the bombings against us by us during the American Civil War. Others may say the bombing of an Oklahoma building in 1995 by Timothy McVeigh, which is considered one of the deadliest terrorist attacks. Even so, some may say the two airplanes that crashed into the World Trade Towers, also called 9/11 may be the first. This attack is something different and should be considered as one of the most despicable attacks against American people by American people in our history; a history silenced. Why would the Civil War not count as the first bombing on American soil? It’s simple. The Civil War was between two countries; the Confederate States of America (also called the Rebels with Alexander, Virginia as their headquarters after being moved from Montgomery, Alabama) and the United States of America (also called the Union with their headquarters in Washington, District of Columbia). Because this nation was not considered one complete country, we cannot use this as the first bombing on American soil by Americans.
I will set the stage for you. The date is 1921. The place is Tulsa, Oklahoma. Most people don’t know or have not heard of this, or what actually happened during this time. This was called the Tulsa race riot of 1921. How did this come to pass? The attack was carried out by air and ground, destroying more than 35 blocks of the Greenwood district, one of the wealthiest communities of those of African descent. More than eight hundred people were admitted into hospitals and over six thousand residents were arrested or detained. Sources estimated over three hundred people of African descent dead. What caused this riot? A woman of European descent accused a man of African descent in raping her. After finding out the suspect may be lynched, the residents charged into the police station with weapons to stop the injustice. During the confrontation, many people died, including people of European descent. This led to thousands people of European descent destroying stores and homes. The rampage left over ten thousand residents of the community homeless as well as over one and a half million dollars in property damage and seven hundred fifty thousand dollars in personal damages. This was a community that had a few European descent residents and people of African descent were doctors, lawyers, optometrists, bank owners, and had other successful businesses.
Why did people of European descent destroy the homes and business of the residents of Greenwood? Why were there airplanes dropping dynamite on the rooftops of buildings? Why were the police and National Guard helping those of European descent run those of African descent out of their community? We all can come up with a lot of different reasons. Some of these reasons may be good, and other reasons may be skeptical. Some would say “playing the race card” and others would say let’s be realistic.
As we look throughout the history of the United States of America, we can see this country was divided among itself; the Confederacy that were for slavery and the Union that were opposed to slavery. In my opinion, this division was about money, not slavery per say. Just like people of European descent migrated from their respective countries to America, people of African descent were forced from their respective countries to become slaves and less than a man or woman. Being oppressed by the lack of education and refused rights under the United States Constitution, tribes were separated and looked upon as “property” not humans. As society grew in the years that led to this event, it was evident that people of African descent were not supposed to have anything, and God forbid they had more than those of European descent. The society was turning into white was right and black is bad. After all, the term white is to mean innocent or not intended to cause any harm. The term black is to mean wicked or characterized by hostility. Anyone would believe this because the pictures of Jesus in the church are of a European Jesus. When you have a people that are suppressed, they may not know any different. In Revelations 1:13-16, it speaks of Jesus as having feet of bronze and hair like white wool. If we look at the definition of bronze we find out that bronze is a metallic brown color. In history, we know people of African descent were called colored because their skin completion is not that of Europeans. Wooly hair is often associated with Negroid hair. As we know from the original Middle Easterners, they are of brown skin and their hair can be wooly or tight-curled. In any event, when someone put a picture of what they think represents good and you have a race of people that are uneducated, it is easy to believe what you may not know or understand. For these reasons I usually don’t use black or white in describing any one person or people. I met “white” people in my life who are not innocent. I met “white” people who really don’t intend on causing harm. I met “black” people in my life who are not wicked. I met “black” people in my life who are wicked. I am sure we all had met “whites and blacks” who may and may not fit the definition. Therefore, I use European and African descent to describe a people. The 1921 Tulsa, Oklahoma bombing is not in any history book as part of the United States of America History. It seems like this part of history has been… silenced.
There are other countries that have people of African descent living among them. When they are speaking of themselves, they would always say “I am French.” “I am from the United Kingdom.” You would not hear them say I am Italian English. You would not hear them say I am black living in France. In America, we have citizens that would say “I am Italian.” “I am Irish.” America, the melting pot of the entire earth, yet we are the most judgmental and prejudice. If you don’t believe me, just look around. Look at the injustice and countless killings by police on the citizens they are sworn to protect. Look at the many racially motivated groups and the killings by those groups. Look at the recruitment by racially motivated groups to overpower another racial group. America, the terrorist country within itself and if we don’t stop as a nation to recognize each other as a human being, we will continue to stereotype others and tear ourselves apart.
~CF Boston Brian~
Terrorism. (n.d.) Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. Retrieved August 14, 2017 from Dictionary.com website http://www.dictionary.com/browse/terrorism
Blumberg, Naomi (2017) Retrieved from https://www.britannica.com/topic/The-Star-Spangled-Banner
Lovgren, Stefan (2013, September). Retrieved from http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/09/0903_030903_bajaskull.html
Union (American Civil War) (2017, August). Retrieved from https://en.wikipendia.org/wiki/Union_(American_Civil_War)
Associated Press (2013, April). Retrieved from http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/15/history-bombings-in-us-including-famous-attempts-that-failed-since-late-1800s.html
First Aerial Bombardment in the US (1997-2012). Retrieved from http://www.aerospaceweb.org/question/history/q0118.shtml
1921 Tula Race Riot (2017). Retrieved from http://tulsahistory.org/learn/online-exhibits/the-tulsa-race-riot/
White (2017). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/white
Black (2017). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/black
Zondervan (1984). Book. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan
Bronze (2017, May). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronze_(color)
Wooly Hair (2017). Retrieved from http://www.hairscientists.org/hair-and-scalp-conditions/wooly-hair
Thank you for your continued support in the following of my blog. I don’t write or get on as much as I desire, but I am most appreciative of you all.
As this fourth of July passes on, I think about what it really means. To some, it means freedom from another country. To others, it means just another day. Even others would think this is another day of oppression from what America stands for. For whatever your reason, drop me a message or comment and let me know what you would like for me to write about and I will make it my point to publish it through wordpress.com.
~CF Boston Brian~
Being a man of mixed race, I am often looked upon as a question of… why is that? Lots of people want to say I am playing the race card or saying this is about racial relations between groups of people. I believe talking about racism and the effects of it is the best way to rid most of racism, not all, but most.
Dating has always been a hard thing for me. Being light-skinned, most women of European descent believe I am too dark to be with them and most women of African descent say I am too light to be with them. Introducing me to a European family is virtually impossible because most are raise with believe people of African descent are bad influences and cause havoc in society. However, if you look at music and influences on music who are usually the most influential people of music? Even the Rolling Stones picked the name of their group from a lyric in a Muddy Waters song. When American artists of African descent go to other countries, they are greeted and welcomed with open arms; more so than the country in which they were born in. Introducing me to an African descent family is easy because society looks upon me as being of African descent not being of mixed race. Society do not expect a non European descent man to date anyone that is of European descent. Society feels like it’s race mixing should never be done. Society believes women that are of European descent are much too good for men of African descent or of mixed race. Usually, women of European descent will only date outside their race as a last resort, when their own race don’t want them due to their body shape, being considered as trailer park trash, or having a child of mix race and their own race would be embarrassed to be seen with them.
I remember two very different instances where I often was asked the question of why is that? Instance one was a time where I dated a woman of African descent who has three different children by three different men. One man was in jail at the time. Another man lived in a different state. The third man was in the child’s life. I was fortunate because I only had to deal with one guy while dating this woman. Imagine if I had to deal with all three of the men. She tried to change the way I talked to be more “hood” (relating to or of urban ghetto). She tried to get me to change my musical tastes to more hip hop and rap, especially groups that I would not enjoy listening too. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy hip hop, but the older groups such as Run DMC, Eric B & Rakim, and other groups who have a message behind their music. She tried to get me to dress more street as in sagging pants with my underwear showing. This woman believed what she thought I should be in society is a man of a typical mixed race man, or what society would still refer to as a man of African descent. Not changing the way I talk, musical tastes, or the way I dress caused her to believe I was trying to act more “white” (caucasian, European). I felt I could not be myself and I asked myself… why is that? Do I have to sacrifice myself to be liked by women of African descent? Society believes I am crazy for giving up on this woman because in their eyes I’m of African descent just like her and it would have been a great relationship.
Instance two was a time where I dated a woman of European descent who has four children as well. However, she was married before and had two children by that one person and two by a previous relationship. The ex-boyfriend is not in the picture, yet she receives child support for the two kids. The ex-husband is in the lives of the other two children, who is a racist towards people of African descent. It really burns him up that his ex-wife would like me the way she did. She did not try to change the way I talk because she was fine with it. She did not try to change the way I dressed because dress decently. Her musical tastes are Country and some R&B and never once tried to change my musical tastes. Her kids loved me to death and wanted to go everywhere where I went. One even wanted me to go to a father/daughter dance at her school in which I did participate. I could really be myself, but something was still missing. This woman is not really my type, yet she liked me. What is that? Her kids are of European descent, yet she could not find an European guy to date. She is a plus sized woman, and not anyone where own race would consider attractive due to her weight. Later, I found out I was a last resort for her because no one in her own race wanted her. People of European descent would laugh when they saw us together because I was her last resort and no one else wanted her. People of African descent would turn their nose up at us because we were a mixed race couple and I was with someone that is considered very obese.
Why is that? Why are the obese European women attracted to African men? Why are African women that are about something want a guy to make as much money as them? Why are the European women go out with African men as their LAST resort? Why are do most African women have a lot of children by a lot of different men? Why are European women want to “hide” you away so no one can see that you are really their man? Why do African women turn their nose when they believe you sold out? Why are we the most judgmental country in all of the world, judging others on race and what they believe you should act due to race? Why do people refuse to recognize most music derive from African artists? Why do European people get tanned yet cannot stand the sight of an African person? Why are men of African descent and men who are of mixed race who have morals are still looked upon as a menace to society? Why do we have the first bombing ever on American soil in the ’20s in Tulsa, Oklahoma? Why don’t European women date African men? Why don’t African women date European men? Why do we only get the scraps that others don’t want? Why is that?
~CF Boston Brian~
Something to think about when it comes to presidents. North Korea is a bully. President Trump is a bully. I would not be surprised if both bullies go at it head to head and bring upon us… World War III. Why does this concerns me, or should concern me? It is because the weapons used in today’s world are more advanced and deadlier than in yesterday’s world (back in the day).
I believe what may help a bit more in American history would be more interracial couples cast for parts. I see a lot of shows cast for parts of white couples being with white couples and black couples being with black couples. Why do I believe this may be a slight issue? We are the most prejudice country in all of the planet earth. We are not born into racism. We don’t come out of the womb calling others outside their names or say I am black so I will have to be with the black kids. Our introductory to racism starts with our parents and then our surroundings, then our experiences.
Education is the key. Everyone is different but if people want to put everyone into one category, we will not survive as a people. I remember watching Glory, Tuskegee Airmen, and other movies based upon true documentary resources. One thing that moved me was the comment in Tuskegee Airmen when General Benjamin O. Davis said “Are we Americans when the mood suites you?” Wars cannot be won without the help of everyone pitching in, both black and white, yet we beat upon each other’s character so badly. If a black guy walks into a bar, he is looked upon as he don’t belong there. If a white guy walks into a bar, he is believe to be safe and sane. It is a shame that most black or mixed people have to work three times harder just to gain respect versus a white person that has respect off the bat.
Now, it is coming in the realm of animals. White dogs are adopted before black dogs. Really? So an animal that lives off of instinct and do what nature grooms inside of the animal is judged on their coat (fur color). Really?
This country needs an enema…
~CF Boston Brian~