Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Honesty versus Flirty

I understand and know men and women are different on most levels.  Why is it hard for a woman to be honest, yet it is not hard for most men to be honest?

 

A perfect example of this would be when a woman looks at a man and smile.  The two engage in conversation and the woman begins to touch him or hold his hand in little ways.  When the man makes a move to know more or ask her for an actual date, she would reject him.  She may say she just wanted to be “friendly.”  She may say she has a man, but thought you needed a friend to talk to.  Are you serious?  You touch me, smile at me, let me buy you drinks, and talk about our most personal experiences in life and you are just flirty?  So, why can’t that woman be honest to that man upfront?  Why lead him on? What would a woman think if a man does that to her?

 

Most men who have these types of experiences would push women away from them because they are afraid of the same repeating itself.  Most men would not return the smile and would have distance between him and the woman in order not to be touched by the woman.  Other men would not even look at women for the fear of being played or having a woman be flirty to them.

 

As I look back on my life and experiences, I can see why good guys finish last.  I can see why good guys don’t come across the finish line at all.  I can see why some men decide to be by themselves.  There are some men who can take hints and clues, but most of us don’t take hints or clues.

 

Am I upset or angry towards women?  No.  We are who we are.  I just wonder why is it hard for a woman to be something they EXPECT out of a man… honesty.  If a man is not honest a woman will feel used and think the guy is just into games.  If that is the case, what is it called when a woman does it?

 

~Boston Brian

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Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Who Finish Last?

The one thing I hear a lot of is “I’m sorry.”  What are you sorry about?  Why are you sorry?  Are you sorry for getting caught?

 

This is coming from episode after episode of cheaters.  Most episodes about women usually have the same outcome.  That outcome is the women who usually say “I’m sorry, but I did not want to hurt you.”  So, they did not want to hurt the man’s feelings because he is a very nice guy.  It’s funny that the guy they cheat on their boyfriend with is a bad boy.  Why can’t they be honest and say the guy is just too nice and they need a man who is going to dog them out because that is what they are either used to or want?  Ultimately, that is what the women are saying.   Most women are attracted to the bad boy and have men who are too nice as an arm piece.  They are usually in tears and want to talk about things after getting caught as they are afraid of being left out in the street from the home shared by their soon to be ex-boyfriend, yet they had no desire to talk before being caught.  The women want to beg for forgiveness when they see two men fighting over them in the effort of finding the truth.  They have the nerve to have their identity withheld because of what?  They are not concerned with their identity while they are cheating.  It is like someone in the Klu Klux Klan wearing a cheat to conceal their identity because they are afraid of getting chastise if their face is truly revealed.  Although the police is the new Klu Klux Klan, but that is a different write.

 

I’m sorry, but I don’t fight another man over any woman.  If a woman cheats on me, I am not taking it up with him, but with the woman because she knows better.  I was raised to open doors for women.  I was raised with treating women with respect.  I was raised not to use the term “female” to describe a woman.  A woman is a woman just like a man is a man.

 

Don’t get me wrong, men cheat too and they usually have the excuse of “it’s not like that” or “what are you doing?”  This posting is not about the man cheating, but about the woman cheating.  In reference of who finish last the question remains.  Do nice guys finish last?  Do women refuse to date a nice guy as the last man on this earth?  Lots of younger women refuse to settle down with a nice guy.  They want that bad boy.  As they get older, they began to see the damage of their cheating as Karma comes back and bites them in the azz.  All of this is a vicious circle that gets worse from generation to generation.  In my experiences women have children at a very young age and they are forced to settle down a bit more due to the child.  Now, they want a good man because their situation has changed.  Is this what it takes to desire a good guy?

 

Some say nice guys finish first.  Some say nice guys finish last.  I say nice guys don’t finish at all; not even if he is the last man on this earth.  I cannot wrap my brain to think how bad boys get the most attractive woman or have a collection of fine looking women, and men who really deserve a woman is left in the sea as shark bait.  Most nice guys get the women that others don’t want.  These women are usually extremely overweight.  These women are usually not too educated.  These women are those who are really not your type, but you are forced to date them because you cannot find a woman who is your type and you are getting older.  These women have children and they cannot find the type of man they really want due to the change in their circumstance(s).  Some tell me I am too picky, but answer me this question.  Should I really lower my standards in order to date a woman who is very obese, not educated and cannot speak with proper English when the time calls for it, or have a village of children then realize other men are not attracted to them?  Like other men and women, I want to be in love with a woman who is going to love me for me and care for me, but I believe I should not sell myself short to get what I really don’t want.

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

What We Cannot Say…

At times, people have a way of putting words together that we cannot express ourselves.  I consider myself to be a good guy.  I never said I love you first to anyone.  They usually say it to me, even my family; but they know I love them by the special things I do to show it.

I have not many friends because I had been hurt a lot before.  Some had made fun of me because of my race and culture.  Others had attempt to bully me because of the things my parents had and I was given good things in my life by them.  Even some made fun of me because I would die for my dog, knowing they have a short life span on earth.  I see people take for granted of the little things in life.

Watching YouTube videos most times, I have learned things about myself that I would not have known before.  I have learned what it is like to be homeless with nothing.  I have learned what it is like to be ridiculed and toss around like a bag.  I have learned what it is like to be afraid.  I have learned what it is like to be loved.  I have seen through the eyes of a dog about pain, resentment, and hurt.  I have seen through the eyes of other animals that are hunted for game not as a source of nourishment.

I look out of my window in my home and stare at the green grass and listen to the birds sing.  I look at white butterflies that fly around the home.  I look at my vehicle sparkle as the sun bounces off it.  I look at the wind blowing the tops of the trees.  I look at the high flying hawks and wonder what it is like to be that free.

Afraid of being who I am, there is one thing no one can take away from me, well actually two things.  The first thing is my education and knowledge.  The second thing is how loved I am by family and God.

I will like to share a video with you.  I hope you enjoy it and find it comforting in some way.

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Have You Ever Thought?

Have you ever thought you would be single for the rest of your life, and why?  This is my story.  I am middle-aged and I don’t have children.  The reasons for me not having children are rather personal to me as I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock.  I don’t judge others because I don’t want others to judge me.  What other people do, they do.  What I do, I do.

 

I have joined a lot of sites regarding dating.  These sites range from free sites to paying sites with a guarantee of finding your match or mate.  Like most people, I have criteria.  Some settle for things they choose to accept or think they have to in order to fall in love.  Others really settle for things they know they don’t want, yet they don’t want to be alone either.  Some things that I refuse to settle for are:

 

  • People who brag or boast about themselves ALL the time. This leads me to believe they are selfish.

 

  • Women who use a LOT of profanity. Don’t get me wrong, we all do it.  Even I use profanity at times when I am highly upset and angry.  We are human, but in everyday conversations and all that comes out of a woman’s mouth is profane language, that is an instant turn-off.

 

  • An obese woman. Our bodies change over time and we tend to gain a bit of extra weight.  I understand that.  However, I refuse to date any woman that weights more than I do or who is considered obese.

 

  • A woman with a lot of children. I have had issues with a lot of men who are the babies’ daddy.  Some women have kids by three or more men.  Some women tend to have children at a very young age because they believed the lifestyle of what a man had promised them.

 

  • A woman without access to a vehicle. I just got out of a relationship similar to this.  I live in one area and she lives in a completely different area.  The only way we got to see each other is if I drove to her location, which is almost two hours away.  I don’t mind taking the train, but that limits a lot of things to walking.  That is good on comfortable days, but not when it is raining or snowing.

 

  • Ghetto fabulous women.  Ghetto fabulous is a mindset where you are not working and looking for a handout in many ways.  These are the type of women who do not pronounce or talk properly when the mood calls for it.  A perfect example would be “ain’t no way,” “you is,” or “is you.”  That is poor grammar and how would it look taking a ghetto fabulous woman on a company-hosted function with her saying those words?  Sure, I use slang, but I understand when to use it and when not to use it.

 

I write a lot of women regarding their profiles, getting to know them, and looking for genuine conversations.  Unfortunately, I don’t get any response from them.  I do get messages from women who are not even close to my type.  They are those listed above.  I am far from a racist person.  After all, I am of mixed race.  There are a lot of women of European descent who are very obese that want to talk to me and beg me to meet them.  There are a lot of women of African descent with a village of kids that wants to meet me and beg me to talk to them.  There are a lot of women of all races who want me to talk to them or meet them because they have a bi-racial child.  There are a lot of women who believe I should be honored to be seen with them when others don’t even want them.  It gives me the impression that I am their LAST chance or resort.  I don’t believe in sex before marriage, but I am human so it may or may not happen.  I don’t believe in living together or shacking unless you are in the mist of getting married to each other.  Lots of people judge me on these things.

 

I believe these are the reasons why I am still single.  Do I have to bend for what I believe in just to get a girlfriend?    Do I really have to settle for things that I know I am not attracted to in order to get a girlfriend?  Everyone that I am attracted to are not attracted to me and vice versa; but I feel I should not have to settle for someone who I know I will have issues with later on in life just for the sake of being with someone.

 

With all of this said, I would love to hear from you and your comments on this post.

~CF Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Why is That?

Being a man of mixed race, I am often looked upon as a question of… why is that?  Lots of people want to say I am playing the race card or saying this is about racial relations between groups of people.  I believe talking about racism and the effects of it is the best way to rid most of racism, not all, but most.

Dating has always been a hard thing for me.  Being light-skinned, most women of European descent believe I am too dark to be with them and most women of African descent say I am too light to be with them.  Introducing me to a European family is virtually impossible because most are raise with believe people of African descent are bad influences and cause havoc in society.  However, if you look at music and influences on music who are usually the most influential people of music?  Even the Rolling Stones picked the name of their group from a lyric in a Muddy Waters song.  When American artists of African descent go to other countries, they are greeted and welcomed with open arms; more so than the country in which they were born in.  Introducing me to an African descent family is easy because society looks upon me as being of African descent not being of mixed race.  Society do not expect a non European descent man to date anyone that is of European descent.  Society feels like it’s race mixing should never be done.  Society believes women that are of European descent are much too good for men of African descent or of mixed race.  Usually, women of European descent will only date outside their race as a last resort, when their own race don’t want them due to their body shape, being considered as trailer park trash, or having a child of mix race and their own race would be embarrassed to be seen with them.

I remember two very different instances where I often was asked the question of why is that?  Instance one was a time where I dated a woman of African descent who has three different children by three different men.  One man was in jail at the time.  Another man lived in a different state.  The third man was in the child’s life.  I was fortunate because I only had to deal with one guy while dating this woman.  Imagine if I had to deal with all three of the men.  She tried to change the way I talked to be more “hood” (relating to or of urban ghetto).  She tried to get me to change my musical tastes to more hip hop and rap, especially groups that I would not enjoy listening too.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy hip hop, but the older groups such as Run DMC, Eric B & Rakim, and other groups who have a message behind their music.  She tried to get me to dress more street as in sagging pants with my underwear showing.  This woman believed what she thought I should be in society is a man of a typical mixed race man, or what society would still refer to as a man of African descent.  Not changing the way I talk, musical tastes, or the way I dress caused her to believe I was trying to act more “white” (caucasian, European).  I felt I could not be myself and I asked myself… why is that?  Do I have to sacrifice myself to be liked by women of African descent?  Society believes I am crazy for giving up on this woman because in their eyes I’m of African descent just like her and it would have been a great relationship.

Instance two was a time where I dated a woman of European descent who has four children as well.  However, she was married before and had two children by that one person and two by a previous relationship.   The ex-boyfriend is not in the picture, yet she receives child support for the two kids.  The ex-husband is in the lives of the other two children, who is a racist towards people of African descent.  It really burns him up that his ex-wife would like me the way she did.  She did not try to change the way I talk because she was fine with it.  She did not try to change the way I dressed because dress decently.  Her musical tastes are Country and some R&B and never once tried to change my musical tastes.  Her kids loved me to death and wanted to go everywhere where I went.  One even wanted me to go to a father/daughter dance at her school in which I did participate.  I could really be myself, but something was still missing.  This woman is not really my type, yet she liked me.  What is that?  Her kids are of European descent, yet she could not find an European guy to date.  She is a plus sized woman, and not anyone where own race would consider attractive due to her weight.  Later, I found out I was a last resort for her because no one in her own race wanted her.  People of European descent would laugh when they saw us together because I was her last resort and no one else wanted her.  People of African descent would turn their nose up at us because we were a mixed race couple and I was with someone that is considered very obese.

Why is that?  Why are the obese European women attracted to African men?  Why are African women that are about something want a guy to make as much money as them?  Why are the European women go out with African men as their LAST resort?  Why are do most African women have a lot of children by a lot of different men?  Why are European women want to “hide” you away so no one can see that you are really their man?  Why do African women turn their nose when they believe you sold out?  Why are we the most judgmental country in all of the world, judging others on race and what they believe you should act due to race?  Why do people refuse to recognize most music derive from African artists?  Why do European people get tanned yet cannot stand the sight of an African person?  Why are men of African descent and men who are of mixed race who have morals are still looked upon as a menace to society?  Why do we have the first bombing ever on American soil in the ’20s in Tulsa, Oklahoma?  Why don’t European women date African men?  Why don’t African women date European men?  Why do we only get the scraps that others don’t want?  Why is that?

~CF Boston Brian~

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What Pet Owner….

 

I enjoy pet animals and I am very sensitive when it comes to animal abuse.  This poor dog as abused by the hands of a HUMAN so badly that it could not stand the touch of a human.  There is a happy ending to this video, but it goes to show how mean MAN is and when I say man, I am talking all of mankind.  Just like humans, they did not ask to come into this world, but like us…they are here.  This makes me love my pet dog even more and more everyday…

 

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