Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Have You Ever Thought?

Have you ever thought you would be single for the rest of your life, and why?  This is my story.  I am middle-aged and I don’t have children.  The reasons for me not having children are rather personal to me as I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock.  I don’t judge others because I don’t want others to judge me.  What other people do, they do.  What I do, I do.

 

I have joined a lot of sites regarding dating.  These sites range from free sites to paying sites with a guarantee of finding your match or mate.  Like most people, I have criteria.  Some settle for things they choose to accept or think they have to in order to fall in love.  Others really settle for things they know they don’t want, yet they don’t want to be alone either.  Some things that I refuse to settle for are:

 

  • People who brag or boast about themselves ALL the time. This leads me to believe they are selfish.

 

  • Women who use a LOT of profanity. Don’t get me wrong, we all do it.  Even I use profanity at times when I am highly upset and angry.  We are human, but in everyday conversations and all that comes out of a woman’s mouth is profane language, that is an instant turn-off.

 

  • An obese woman. Our bodies change over time and we tend to gain a bit of extra weight.  I understand that.  However, I refuse to date any woman that weights more than I do or who is considered obese.

 

  • A woman with a lot of children. I have had issues with a lot of men who are the babies’ daddy.  Some women have kids by three or more men.  Some women tend to have children at a very young age because they believed the lifestyle of what a man had promised them.

 

  • A woman without access to a vehicle. I just got out of a relationship similar to this.  I live in one area and she lives in a completely different area.  The only way we got to see each other is if I drove to her location, which is almost two hours away.  I don’t mind taking the train, but that limits a lot of things to walking.  That is good on comfortable days, but not when it is raining or snowing.

 

  • Ghetto fabulous women.  Ghetto fabulous is a mindset where you are not working and looking for a handout in many ways.  These are the type of women who do not pronounce or talk properly when the mood calls for it.  A perfect example would be “ain’t no way,” “you is,” or “is you.”  That is poor grammar and how would it look taking a ghetto fabulous woman on a company-hosted function with her saying those words?  Sure, I use slang, but I understand when to use it and when not to use it.

 

I write a lot of women regarding their profiles, getting to know them, and looking for genuine conversations.  Unfortunately, I don’t get any response from them.  I do get messages from women who are not even close to my type.  They are those listed above.  I am far from a racist person.  After all, I am of mixed race.  There are a lot of women of European descent who are very obese that want to talk to me and beg me to meet them.  There are a lot of women of African descent with a village of kids that wants to meet me and beg me to talk to them.  There are a lot of women of all races who want me to talk to them or meet them because they have a bi-racial child.  There are a lot of women who believe I should be honored to be seen with them when others don’t even want them.  It gives me the impression that I am their LAST chance or resort.  I don’t believe in sex before marriage, but I am human so it may or may not happen.  I don’t believe in living together or shacking unless you are in the mist of getting married to each other.  Lots of people judge me on these things.

 

I believe these are the reasons why I am still single.  Do I have to bend for what I believe in just to get a girlfriend?    Do I really have to settle for things that I know I am not attracted to in order to get a girlfriend?  Everyone that I am attracted to are not attracted to me and vice versa; but I feel I should not have to settle for someone who I know I will have issues with later on in life just for the sake of being with someone.

 

With all of this said, I would love to hear from you and your comments on this post.

~CF Boston Brian~

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Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Why is That?

Being a man of mixed race, I am often looked upon as a question of… why is that?  Lots of people want to say I am playing the race card or saying this is about racial relations between groups of people.  I believe talking about racism and the effects of it is the best way to rid most of racism, not all, but most.

Dating has always been a hard thing for me.  Being light-skinned, most women of European descent believe I am too dark to be with them and most women of African descent say I am too light to be with them.  Introducing me to a European family is virtually impossible because most are raise with believe people of African descent are bad influences and cause havoc in society.  However, if you look at music and influences on music who are usually the most influential people of music?  Even the Rolling Stones picked the name of their group from a lyric in a Muddy Waters song.  When American artists of African descent go to other countries, they are greeted and welcomed with open arms; more so than the country in which they were born in.  Introducing me to an African descent family is easy because society looks upon me as being of African descent not being of mixed race.  Society do not expect a non European descent man to date anyone that is of European descent.  Society feels like it’s race mixing should never be done.  Society believes women that are of European descent are much too good for men of African descent or of mixed race.  Usually, women of European descent will only date outside their race as a last resort, when their own race don’t want them due to their body shape, being considered as trailer park trash, or having a child of mix race and their own race would be embarrassed to be seen with them.

I remember two very different instances where I often was asked the question of why is that?  Instance one was a time where I dated a woman of African descent who has three different children by three different men.  One man was in jail at the time.  Another man lived in a different state.  The third man was in the child’s life.  I was fortunate because I only had to deal with one guy while dating this woman.  Imagine if I had to deal with all three of the men.  She tried to change the way I talked to be more “hood” (relating to or of urban ghetto).  She tried to get me to change my musical tastes to more hip hop and rap, especially groups that I would not enjoy listening too.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy hip hop, but the older groups such as Run DMC, Eric B & Rakim, and other groups who have a message behind their music.  She tried to get me to dress more street as in sagging pants with my underwear showing.  This woman believed what she thought I should be in society is a man of a typical mixed race man, or what society would still refer to as a man of African descent.  Not changing the way I talk, musical tastes, or the way I dress caused her to believe I was trying to act more “white” (caucasian, European).  I felt I could not be myself and I asked myself… why is that?  Do I have to sacrifice myself to be liked by women of African descent?  Society believes I am crazy for giving up on this woman because in their eyes I’m of African descent just like her and it would have been a great relationship.

Instance two was a time where I dated a woman of European descent who has four children as well.  However, she was married before and had two children by that one person and two by a previous relationship.   The ex-boyfriend is not in the picture, yet she receives child support for the two kids.  The ex-husband is in the lives of the other two children, who is a racist towards people of African descent.  It really burns him up that his ex-wife would like me the way she did.  She did not try to change the way I talk because she was fine with it.  She did not try to change the way I dressed because dress decently.  Her musical tastes are Country and some R&B and never once tried to change my musical tastes.  Her kids loved me to death and wanted to go everywhere where I went.  One even wanted me to go to a father/daughter dance at her school in which I did participate.  I could really be myself, but something was still missing.  This woman is not really my type, yet she liked me.  What is that?  Her kids are of European descent, yet she could not find an European guy to date.  She is a plus sized woman, and not anyone where own race would consider attractive due to her weight.  Later, I found out I was a last resort for her because no one in her own race wanted her.  People of European descent would laugh when they saw us together because I was her last resort and no one else wanted her.  People of African descent would turn their nose up at us because we were a mixed race couple and I was with someone that is considered very obese.

Why is that?  Why are the obese European women attracted to African men?  Why are African women that are about something want a guy to make as much money as them?  Why are the European women go out with African men as their LAST resort?  Why are do most African women have a lot of children by a lot of different men?  Why are European women want to “hide” you away so no one can see that you are really their man?  Why do African women turn their nose when they believe you sold out?  Why are we the most judgmental country in all of the world, judging others on race and what they believe you should act due to race?  Why do people refuse to recognize most music derive from African artists?  Why do European people get tanned yet cannot stand the sight of an African person?  Why are men of African descent and men who are of mixed race who have morals are still looked upon as a menace to society?  Why do we have the first bombing ever on American soil in the ’20s in Tulsa, Oklahoma?  Why don’t European women date African men?  Why don’t African women date European men?  Why do we only get the scraps that others don’t want?  Why is that?

~CF Boston Brian~

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

What Pet Owner….

 

I enjoy pet animals and I am very sensitive when it comes to animal abuse.  This poor dog as abused by the hands of a HUMAN so badly that it could not stand the touch of a human.  There is a happy ending to this video, but it goes to show how mean MAN is and when I say man, I am talking all of mankind.  Just like humans, they did not ask to come into this world, but like us…they are here.  This makes me love my pet dog even more and more everyday…

 

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General Need-to-Know Information, Life Experiences, No Justice No Peace

Don’t Be Upset…

We heard lots of stories from others regarding race this, and race that.  We heard lots of people saying that darker skinned people are using the “race” card when things happen.  We heard how others rally behind police officers when they are shot or killed, yet nothing is mentioned about the lives lost by police.  I am not against the police that honestly serve the communities and connect with people in communities.  I am not against the police that have to honestly defend their life in a situation that is life and death.  What I am against are the innocent killings and the lies other people give to make the police believe they have to destroy a family’s life.

I saw a YouTube video of a SWAT officer that shot and killed  a seven year old girl with a bullet directly into and through her head.  On this YouTube video, the SWAT officer did not answer why he did it or what was his intentions as he broke down the door in this home… a home raided to where only a grandmother and her seven year old granddaughter was occupying.  The gentleman that was doing this video provided information that was released by the American Psychological Association in regards to how police see dark skinned people.  After some research, I had found an article that tells how police view dark skinned people and how lighter skinned women view dark skinned people.  This came out in March of 2014 and here we sit in 2016 with the same issues going on.  I believe you should read the article for yourselves.  It is a good source of information.  Please share.

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/03/black-boys-older.aspx

~CF Boston Brian~

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Thoughts On Wedding Bands…

If anyone cares to put in their two cents (sort of speak), where do you stand on those that say they are married, yet will not wear their wedding band(s)?

Being a single guy, I used to approach women constantly and just talk to see if there could be interest there. After some conversations, I ask for her number and then I get they “I’m sorry, but I am married and I don’t think my husband would like that” speech, or something similar. Really??? I often ask them about their wedding band and then more excuses come about. I have always believed and grew up with the fact if if a person is married, they should wear their wedding band and if you cannot afford one, don’t get married yet. Even when I was married, I wore my wedding band up to the time I gotten divorced and then I pawned it 🙂

During hazardous work, I can understand not having it on, but after work, it should come second nature to have it on again, for both men and women.

Thoughts?

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