Life Experiences, Personal-type Of Thought(s)

Why is That?

Being a man of mixed race, I am often looked upon as a question of… why is that?  Lots of people want to say I am playing the race card or saying this is about racial relations between groups of people.  I believe talking about racism and the effects of it is the best way to rid most of racism, not all, but most.

Dating has always been a hard thing for me.  Being light-skinned, most women of European descent believe I am too dark to be with them and most women of African descent say I am too light to be with them.  Introducing me to a European family is virtually impossible because most are raise with believe people of African descent are bad influences and cause havoc in society.  However, if you look at music and influences on music who are usually the most influential people of music?  Even the Rolling Stones picked the name of their group from a lyric in a Muddy Waters song.  When American artists of African descent go to other countries, they are greeted and welcomed with open arms; more so than the country in which they were born in.  Introducing me to an African descent family is easy because society looks upon me as being of African descent not being of mixed race.  Society do not expect a non European descent man to date anyone that is of European descent.  Society feels like it’s race mixing should never be done.  Society believes women that are of European descent are much too good for men of African descent or of mixed race.  Usually, women of European descent will only date outside their race as a last resort, when their own race don’t want them due to their body shape, being considered as trailer park trash, or having a child of mix race and their own race would be embarrassed to be seen with them.

I remember two very different instances where I often was asked the question of why is that?  Instance one was a time where I dated a woman of African descent who has three different children by three different men.  One man was in jail at the time.  Another man lived in a different state.  The third man was in the child’s life.  I was fortunate because I only had to deal with one guy while dating this woman.  Imagine if I had to deal with all three of the men.  She tried to change the way I talked to be more “hood” (relating to or of urban ghetto).  She tried to get me to change my musical tastes to more hip hop and rap, especially groups that I would not enjoy listening too.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy hip hop, but the older groups such as Run DMC, Eric B & Rakim, and other groups who have a message behind their music.  She tried to get me to dress more street as in sagging pants with my underwear showing.  This woman believed what she thought I should be in society is a man of a typical mixed race man, or what society would still refer to as a man of African descent.  Not changing the way I talk, musical tastes, or the way I dress caused her to believe I was trying to act more “white” (caucasian, European).  I felt I could not be myself and I asked myself… why is that?  Do I have to sacrifice myself to be liked by women of African descent?  Society believes I am crazy for giving up on this woman because in their eyes I’m of African descent just like her and it would have been a great relationship.

Instance two was a time where I dated a woman of European descent who has four children as well.  However, she was married before and had two children by that one person and two by a previous relationship.   The ex-boyfriend is not in the picture, yet she receives child support for the two kids.  The ex-husband is in the lives of the other two children, who is a racist towards people of African descent.  It really burns him up that his ex-wife would like me the way she did.  She did not try to change the way I talk because she was fine with it.  She did not try to change the way I dressed because dress decently.  Her musical tastes are Country and some R&B and never once tried to change my musical tastes.  Her kids loved me to death and wanted to go everywhere where I went.  One even wanted me to go to a father/daughter dance at her school in which I did participate.  I could really be myself, but something was still missing.  This woman is not really my type, yet she liked me.  What is that?  Her kids are of European descent, yet she could not find an European guy to date.  She is a plus sized woman, and not anyone where own race would consider attractive due to her weight.  Later, I found out I was a last resort for her because no one in her own race wanted her.  People of European descent would laugh when they saw us together because I was her last resort and no one else wanted her.  People of African descent would turn their nose up at us because we were a mixed race couple and I was with someone that is considered very obese.

Why is that?  Why are the obese European women attracted to African men?  Why are African women that are about something want a guy to make as much money as them?  Why are the European women go out with African men as their LAST resort?  Why are do most African women have a lot of children by a lot of different men?  Why are European women want to “hide” you away so no one can see that you are really their man?  Why do African women turn their nose when they believe you sold out?  Why are we the most judgmental country in all of the world, judging others on race and what they believe you should act due to race?  Why do people refuse to recognize most music derive from African artists?  Why do European people get tanned yet cannot stand the sight of an African person?  Why are men of African descent and men who are of mixed race who have morals are still looked upon as a menace to society?  Why do we have the first bombing ever on American soil in the ’20s in Tulsa, Oklahoma?  Why don’t European women date African men?  Why don’t African women date European men?  Why do we only get the scraps that others don’t want?  Why is that?

~CF Boston Brian~

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

A Dedication…

Black Butterfly…

Our role models have passed on.  Our parents have passed on.  Our teachers of life and true history have passed on.  We are stripped of our heritage and our souls have been broken, and many of us by the way we act we even lost our damn minds.  But you… you have endured and for all you do, for all you stand for, for the person that you are, and for being a very strong woman I, Boston Brian, dedicate this song and this video to you.  You are loved more than you will ever know.  Just remember… when you cry, the Lord God is with you.  When you smile, the Lord God is with you.  When you walk, the Lord God is with you.  Just as Christ has risen, you will rise in ways that you would NEVER imagined.  I see it and I believe it!

Matthew 5:10 “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 28:20…”I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

Keep preaching sister girl!

 

~Boston Brian~

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Personal-type Of Thought(s)

A Rant – CF Boston Brian Style

This is going to be a piggy back on my comment I made on Xena’s post regarding the funeral of Michal Brown…

You know.. seeing all of this senseless killing by those that we call to protect ALL citizens, not just WHITE or BLACK, but ALL make me feel very embarrassed to have been in the military.

The military – something that holds a beacon of freedom and unity, but it’s not so.  We actually live in a fa-sad.  We import a lot of things from countries we don’t know anything about, such as the water may be malaria-filled, or what type of pesticides used on things we eat.  Let’s not forget, things may not affect them, but will affect us.  I remember when I was stationed in Korea and they told us (military) not to drink their water, yet the Koreans drink it.  Just because a person jump off a building and live, does not mean everyone should do the same.

Our national anthem talks about land of the free and God Bless America, yet are we deserving to be free or blessed?  We have had the Civil War, and we are still living the Civil War.  How?  We are not using northern states versus southern states, yet it is more of white versus black, versus bi-racial.  America, a country that want to define me as being black instead of interracial.  America, a country that want to define President Obama as being black instead of being interracial (his mother is German).

I hate, and I mean HATE conceal carry.  According to the Constitution, we all have the right to bear arms, but as it was used by in the days it was created, it was to protect the HOME, not to venture outside the home and shot others.  Yes, we have gang violence, and we have robberies.  We also know the area(s) of these said gang violence and other malicious crimes.  As my mother had always told me, if you don’t go in the areas that are bad, why would you need a gun?  It seems like people are getting shot for no reason, especially in the back, where there is NOT a threat.  It all comes to JUDGMENT!

Matthew 12:36,37 – “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.  For by they words thous shalt be justified, and by they words thou shalt be condemned.”  Jesus Christ said this, not CF Boston Brian.

Romans 14:10 – But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set a nought (badness) thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.  Who?  ALL of us, and our bodies holds our spirits and as others see us, we are black, white, Asian, etc… but our spirits is NOT a race.  When we need blood, it is not characterized as black o+ or white ab Negative.  It is what it is.. blood.

Why do we all do what we do?  I believe it is race driven.  Why?  Would you allow your daughter or son date and bring home a person that is of a different race AND not wonder if they are going to steel something?  We are taught as kids, and by music, about race and judgments that are passed down from our families of how people are of that race.  When America can talk about race and talk about it daily, maybe we can all see each other through our own eyes.

I hold true to two quotes that I love to use very much…
– “And you wonder why we don’t like you” – Chronicles of Narnia
– “Are we Americans when the mood suits you?” – Tuskegee Airmen

CF Boston Brian

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